Standing in the Light

I am experiencing an increase in clients voicing their frustration about partners, family members or friends. The complaint? An individual doesn’t seem to want to take steps to shift themselves. It is not uncommon, when one has been working on themselves, that the lower vibration behaviors of others can seem very glaring. When we are close to someone, we are often excited to share our new found truths. I call this the Born Again Christian syndrome.

When they do not seem interested in embracing our new truths it can be very frustrating for some. We see it as if they prefer to wallow in their stuff. Of course everyone has the choice to wallow or not to wallow. Some are so locked into their illusion; they cannot see a way out. Even when shown steps to take, it is as if the way is falling on deaf ears and blind eyes. When we are emotionally invested, it can be very difficult to sit back and watch someone spiral down.

I have a client I will call Sam. Sam is a very loving, compassionate and intelligent individual. She agonizes over the fact that her mother suffers from emotional imbalance and low self esteem, which often leads her to self destructive behavior. Even though Sam has spent a great deal of time offering alternatives to help her mom shift, she continues to make choices that keep her in her stuff. Sam wonders what to do.

Then there is David. He had been working very hard to make shifts in his life, but his partner didn’t share the same ambition for herself. Eventually, this created deep rifts in their relationship and David had to make some hard decisions. Should David have stopped his growth in order to preserve his marriage? I do not believe that anyone should ever hold themselves back to keep peace. After all, we are all here on our own journey and it is about honoring our path.

My sister suffered with addictions her whole life. It was painful to watch her on the path of self destruction. At some point, I realized she was holding our family emotionally hostage. All I was doing, when I thought I was helping, was enabling her inability. No matter what was said or done, it would never make a difference, because she wasn’t ready to make a change. In my effort to assist I was hurting her and myself.
I finally told her that I loved her and when she was ready to do what she needed to do, I would be there for her. Until then not to ask for my help any further. I have to say that was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

What I learned and we must all learn, is that, the only person we can change is ourselves. We cannot live someone else’s life for them. We can only hope that eventually they choose to stand in the light. Where, we can stand together.