TO SUFFER OR NOT TO SUFFER; THAT IS THE QUESTION...

I have a friend who is choosing to wallow in the muck of their suffering. No judgment; I’ve just heard their story over and over since our first meeting and yes the Mother has offered beautiful words of wisdom in our previous conversations.

Once again I’m hearing the music, “I’m sorry that you continue to suffer needlessly”, I say. Their reply, “I believe the Dali Lama would say that suffering is not needless, that we need to suffer for our soul’s growth”. My eyebrows rise at reading this last line, and my response, “I do not agree. The Dali Lama, in so many words, has said that suffering is a fact of human existence, but we have a choice to attach or not. In fact attachment/desire is the root of all suffering. If we were to let go of attachment/desire, we would not suffer.” On this last point I don’t necessarily agree, no disrespect, but I feel that not all suffering comes from attachment/desire, but this is best left for another post.

Somewhere between 563 BC to 486 BC Prince Siddhartha, a young prince (Buddha), came to enlightenment while seeking the path which would end suffering for all mankind. When he first began his journey, he believed that total depravation from all desires; including the most basic human needs all while being in a constant state of meditation would lead him to enlightenment. However after many years of intentional depravation, and after becoming a mere shell of his former self, in a flash of inspiration he realized that the true path to enlightenment lies in taking the middle path in all things; not starving oneself on any level.

It is true; suffering is a fact of human existence. Like fear it can be a powerful motivator in getting us to shift. We all experience different levels of suffering throughout our lives.

When one experiences physical suffering most will do what’s necessary to end it. I don’t know anyone who wishes to endure physical pain, unless of course they are a masochistic. Yes, they do exist.

At the beginning of my practice, I learned that there are those who would choose to hold onto their physical suffering, not wanting to heal themselves. All because their infirmity gave them power over family and friends. Or, in their new state of good health, they would have to move forward engaging the outside world.

Emotional suffering can be a little trickier. Emotions can be very convoluted. We are all open to experience ecstatic feeling. However, when it comes to feelings that are uncomfortable or even painful, most of us would shut down and bury them deep within the recesses of our psyche; under padlock and key, with the clearest intention of never resurrecting said feelings into the light of day. Unfortunately, we are all aware that to do this can create a myriad of physical and/or psychological issues.

Of course, like my friend, they can choose to hold onto their suffering as a form of self flagellation. Literally punishing themselves for mistakes they have made and the pain they may have caused others. Or even for the human flaws they see within themselves. Feeling they have no right to experience joy or happiness in their lives. I am bad and imperfect, so therefore I do not deserve. Or it could just be fear to move forward, which ultimately is fear of failure. It is easier to stay in the constant, even if it is not the healthiest of choices.

You might be interested to know that every time we choose to tell our story, the telling gives it fresh energy and reinforces its’ hold on us. So if one chooses to keep retelling their tale of woe, then they are only reinforcing their sense of victimization.

It is my belief that we have choice. We can choose to be happy; not attaching to what we perceive is the negative side of an experience. Life after all is truly about how we choose to perceive our experience. Not to sound Pollyannaish, but there really is a silver lining to every cloud, it is the nature of our world, DUALITY.

As for myself, even though on occasion, I can feel the pangs of suffering, I choose to perceive the silver lining in all things and walk straight up the middle.

Blessings & Love,

Kate